ADDering on with ADD

1)  ADDering On with ADD

2) Statistical Anomalies

ADDering On with ADD

I stepped out of 100 Collins Street and looked at the sky for a guide to Melbourne’s variable weather and walked straight into Cameron Carter. I recognised him instantly, though it was fifteen years since I had last seen him at school. He looked a bit grim.

“Hi, Cameron, long time no see. How are you?”

“Hello, Mike, surprise. Oh, I’m OK, I guess. Just lost my job. Our company was taken over and they sacked most of the staff.”

“Hell, are you going to be all right? I mean, do have another job?”

“Nothing, and my outlook isn’t bright.”

I decided he needed cheering up. “Come and have a coffee.”

We went down the street a bit and found a coffee shop, ordered two double expressos, and sat down. I remembered Cameron from school. He had been a bit of a wimp and in Year Seven boys had started bullying him. I don’t like bullying and I am a fearsome fighter. There were bigger boys in the school who could have easily bashed me badly, but they knew they would be damaged in the process. I was born strong and aggressive. I let it be known that Cameron was protected and anyone who bullied him faced permanent disability. The bullying stopped but as a consequence Cameron had attached himself to me

He told me now, “I have a funny brain. I see structures in 3D. You became a builder, didn’t you, and you see buildings in 3D, but lots of things most people see as flat diagrams, like the hierarchy chart of your company, or the supply chain, I see 3D and I can move about in it. Well, I eventually joined a book retailer, and got to the point where I managed acquisitions and supply. I can do it in my head. I’ve got other problems, but I manage.”

He didn’t look as if he was managing at the moment. “Are you married?”

“Nah, I was in a relationship once, but it didn’t work out. I live in a flat, I’ve got a car, and some savings. I’m chasing my superannuation; I think they will have to pay that. It isn’t as if we went broke. I’s been difficult, the book trade has slowed down because of all the electronic stuff.”

“So, what does the future hold?”

“Nothing that I know of. I’m pushing my CV about, but half the population seems to be doing that.”

I gave him my card. “Come to this office at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Human Resources will have to assess you, normal job application stuff, but we may be able to find you a place. It can last five hours at your level, so come prepared to spend the day.” Still looking after little Cameron, I thought. Well, I am a builder. My father runs a big construction company, so I did Engineering at Uni and went into the family business. We’ve been very successful.

Next morning Cameron turned up, and I took him down to HR. “They will let me have the results at the end of the day, but I have meetings all tomorrow morning. Come back at two in the afternoon and we’ll see what we can do.”

Although I’m the boss’s son, I am paid a high salary because I get things done. I think of myself as aggressive because I stick my head in where others mightn’t. Staff at school wanted me to describe myself as assertive, but that’s too neutral for me. It isn’t that I provoke fights or attack people; I’m not a bull in a China shop. I just like a challenge. At present we were in dispute with a union that wanted a phenomenal salary for fork-lift drivers. Because of union negotiations in the past, lots of workers were highly paid compared to other industries, and we have to live with it. But the unions are constantly niggling about wages and negotiations ensue. I did most of the negotiating for our company. I can be sweetness and light when required, a bit like a glistening stainless-steel girder, though.

Next afternoon I met Cam with his results. “They recommend hiring you into Management Systems, and I agree, so you have a job starting next Monday. You will need to go back to HR after this and they will tell you what you need to do to start and there will be the usual pile of paper to sign.” I showed him the classification and salary. “If you’re OK with that.”

He looked relieved, “That’s fantastic, thanks.”

There was something else in the report. “It says you are diagnosed Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.”

“Yes,” he shrugged his shoulders. “Well, it explains why I was such a mess at school. It was a hell of a job passing year 12 and I struggled through Uni. I did Business because I didn’t know what else to do. I scraped through that and did a few different jobs until I hit books. I managed OK. I fitted into that and stayed there. Well, up until now.”

I told him, “I’m interested because I have a son, Craig, who is eight. He has just been diagnosed with ADHD and I’ve started reading about is.”

“Oh, I’ve read a lot about it, trying to understand myself. They are still researching it; the psychiatric developments have been very recent. There was a lot of confusion. They started off  with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactive  Disorder (ADHD) but it's all called the latter, now. As I say, I know enough to manage it, but there’s no cure, only management. I take a few pills and that seems to help a bit.”

“Well, Craig is pretty confused about it. Well, we all are, really.”

Cambell looked at me enquiringly, “Who is all?”

“My wife is Audrey, then comes Stella, who is twelve, Elli, who is ten, and then Craig, the aforementioned who is eight. He is the only one with ADHD. We discovered the disorder because this year he has a teacher who is sharp and noticed that he wasn’t attending well, distracted all over the place, and faking some of his work, copying other children or getting something off the web. His handwriting is terrible, and he’s totally disorganised.”

“Sounds like me. Is he on medication?”

I hate medication. “They are trying him on Ritalin. I can say I’ve noticed much difference. I’ve been part of the problem. I tend to push things and that doesn’t help.”

Cameron said, “It will take a little while. You might have to try other methods and medication. I hope you’ve got a good psychologist.”

Cameron sounded fairly confident, so I asked him, “Why don’t you come to lunch on Saturday and say hello to Craig, maybe tell us all more about it?”

Our family life was fairly typical. Dinner last night-

Craig: I shouldn’t have to eat vegetables. Lions and tigers are very strong, and they don’t eat vegetables

Stella, with hands raised claw-like above her head: “No, they eat warm raw meat with the blood pulsing through,”

Craig: “That’s disgusting. Horrible.”

Audrey: “Then you probably should eat your vegetables.”

And a new phase of life began. Cameron arrived for lunch on Saturday. It was a BBQ and he met Craig and the family. After lunch we left Craig and Cameron in the living room while the family dispersed. It was a rare Saturday when none of the children had to be anywhere, and I talked to Audrey about the coming week. Audrey is a fabric designer, a creative artist who has her own business, partly consulting, partly designing for her own production of cloth. There is a fair chance you have seen some of her work somewhere, but, of course, no woman wears a dress with ‘Cloth Designed by Audrey Lewis’ across it. She keeps her maiden name professionally. With our work and three children, we plan weeks ahead or go under.

After about an hour Cameron and Craig emerged. Craig was clutching Cameron’s hand, and Craig was glowing. “Mr. Carson knows. He understands me!” He looked as if he had just found buried treasure.

Cameron was grinning. “I can help a bit, if you like. If you were agreeable, I can do something to improve his homework and school performance. It would mean a couple of nights a week.

Craig was nodding his head like a performing donkey. Audrey dived in, “Let’s do it.”

Cameron suggested, “It might be worthwhile if I tell all of you a bit about it, if there’s time.”
“Good idea,” I said. “Craig, go and round up you sisters. We had all better geta a grasp of this.”

When the children arrived, Cameron started. ”The big problem is that Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is badly named and polymorphic. That means that it comes out in different ways in different people, even in the same family. People can range from happy high achievers to miserable self-hating depressives. The level of each characteristic varies, too. 

The typical description of ADHD is distraction, impulsivity, hyperactivity of mind or mind/body, failure to complete tasks, forgetfulness, poor time management, hyperfocus and lack of focus with daydreaming. Then there is memory loss for some, Rejection Sensitise Dysphoria and Anxiety. They call it Attention Deficit, but that’s wrong. We pay attention, but not to what adults and teachers want. Some children have bad handwriting or the inability to do maths, or poor body movement, it’s neurological, and it tends to have other problems associated, like Obsessional Compulsive Disorder. It goes on and on, doesn’t it. And it is hereditary.”

I looked at Craig. “Hereditary? We don’t have any ancestors with ADHD.”

Audrey and Stella simultaneously point at me and declared, “You.”

It was a mother and daughter thing. They look alike, have undistinguishable voices, and identical gestures.  Audrey said, “Hyper focussed.” Stella said, “Hyperactive.” Then Ella chipped in, “Impulsive.”

I gazed at them, stunned. “You can’t say that I’m Attention Deficit, surely?”

Cameron grinned. “Ah, sounds likely. It’s the stupid name for the state. It was fist named, detected, in boys in the nineteen forties, about. Schoolteachers complained that some boys didn’t attend to them, and their minds drifted off in class. As far as they were concerned, not paying them attention was the problem. In your case it is losing some focus on the situation you are in, but you don’t daydream, you see opportunities that others don’t. It’s you gift, one of them, and that’s something else we have to explore. People with ADHD are usually more intelligent and have one or two Gifts, things they do better than other people. We will need to explore it with Craig, and it may keep changing as her grows up. Oh, and I mentioned that I could help with his homework, and I said yes, and you are agreeable. I will drop by a couple of nights after work and spend an hour with him.”

Audrey promptly said yes, and you’ll stay to dinner.

In consequence, Cameron became Uncle Cam, and Craig’s schoolwork improved significantly, as did his handwriting and self-confidence. Cameron became part of the family, and I released him from work at three, two afternoons a week to do more with Craig.

Cameron became an asset at work. He advised some shifts in the management structure which we accepted. He persuaded the forklift drivers to accept a cost-of-living increase along with a safety redesign of the warehouses and building site’s traffic.

We were settling down into a healthy pattern when Covid 19 struck, followed by lockdowns.

The construction industry suffered badly. For periods we were shut down completely, for other periods we were open with restrictions. With that, we had staff shortages due to staff and contractors catching Covid. Some contractors simply couldn’t get tradies or handle the financial problems and collapsed.

Schools shut and went to remote home learning, and most of our administrative stall had to work from home. I talked to Audrey, and we asked Cameron to move in with us. We had a granny flat which had been a handy place for visitors. Cameron moved in and took over the supervision of Craig’s remote schooling. This rapidly expanded to helping the girls as well. Cameron’s skills lay in maths and English, but he flexed his muscles into other subjects. It was at Craig’s level that he exceeded in an unexpected way. Craig told some of his friends that Uncle Cam was easier to understand than their class teacher on video, and so there was a Zoom session late in the afternoon after a play break which initially involved four children and eventually fifteen children from three schools. There were also less frequent sessions with friends of Stella and Elli on the mysteries of essay writing and the peculiarities of English grammar.

By the end of the lock down, Cameron was working remotely at home, half time, and looking after the children's education. The other half he worked remotely at the Office dealing with administration. Once the lockdown ended, children went back to school, and Cameron reverted to caring for homework after school. Life settled down.

A couple of months later, Cameron staggered into my Office and collapsed into a chair.

“You remember I said I was in a relationship once and it didn’t work out? It was Marion Butterworth.”

I gawked at him in astonishment. Marion had been at school with us. If there had been ‘The girl most likely to …’ she would have got The Girl Most Likely to Disrupt Anything. I think she was more social than academic, but she always managed to engineer chaos.

“She’s got back in touch. She’s got terrible breast-cancer and she has to go into hospital immediately. The problem is, she has, no, we have a daughter I didn’t know about. She never told me. She hasn’t any family, and no friends she can leave her with for a long time. The really big problem is Terri, that’s her name, is deaf.”

He looked really bad. I tried a reassuring tone. “You have a deaf daughter. How deaf?”

”Totally, Profound, she said. I don’t know how I’ll manage. Marion wants me to take Terri now, and then take her to hospital.”

I was stunned. “Marion will have to explain to Terri what’s happening. I’ll get Audrey to go with you, a women might help. You’d better bring Terri back to our place as other children about might help. Long term, God knows. Oh, she must have a teacher she trusts who signs. Get her name from Marion, and we’ll see if she can help. In fact, call Marion now, and I’ll see what I can organise.”

He called Marion and obtained the name and number of her teacher. Then Cameron said, “She wants to talk to you.”

I took the phone. “Hello Marion.”

“Just like old times, only worse, isn’t it! And you’re still bull-heading about, I hear. Please back up Cameron, he’ll never find his way. Teri is with me; I didn’t send her to school. I’ve got to go.”

I hung up and said to Cameron, “You’ve got a company credit card. You can use it for anything you need.”

I called Audrey and told her what had happened and asked her to help. I gave the phone to Cameron to arrange meeting. When he had gone, I phoned the school and had them put the teacher on the phone. “Miss Symonds, you will have heard that Terri’s mother is going into hospital, and she’ll be with her father and a family, none of whom can sign. Could you come to our home after school and help Terri, and start her father and probably the family on sign language, Auslan? I’ll pay you a consultant rate, cash, for whatever time we need.”

She agreed to come and help.

Audrey phoned me later. “Marion is in a bad way, and in theatre already. She left everything too long. We’re going home, there isn’t any point in waiting. This is a real mess. Oh, Terri can lip read a bit, which will help, and of course she can read and write. She can speak fairly well.  I’ll see you at home.”

I call in my CEO and told him Cameron was on compassionate leave indefinitely. He was to have others take over the whole of Cameron's work. As soon as I had completed my work I headed home.

The whole family was gathered. I was introduced to a tearful and bewildered Terri. She was a small girl aged nine, half clutching Cameron and clutching Miss Symonds more firmly. I faced her and said hello as Miss Symonds signed. Then I asked everyone, “Where do we go from here?”

Audery had already made some decisions. “Cameron and Terri are moving into the house for the time being. Terri seems comfortable with the children. Miss Symons is going to greet Terri at school personally each day for a while, and Cameron will take her backwards and forwards, and to her mother in hospital. We are all going to learn signing, Auslan. After we have had a meal, Cameron and Miss Symons will go to Marion’s home and get clothing and whatever she needs and wants and come back here” 

This is why I married her; I tell myself. Well, there are other things!
We all started learning Auslan. Audrey and I and Cameron did a crash course using every hour we could. The children picked up the basics quickly. I had been talking about putting whiteboards up in the kitchen for years. This was done with a box of different coloured markers. Craig was the biggest help; he acted as if he was Terri’s twin and her guardian, and they related well. 

Our life settled down into a pattern. Well, a rather confused pattern, but developing well. We had a review after three months. Cameron thought it was time that he took Terri to his flat so that they could settle into a father/daughter pattern, but Terri objected because she didn't want to leave Craig. We settled on a week at Cameron’s flat and a week at our place.

This broke down fairly quickly. Cameron still had a homework group online, and Terri recruited a little Auslan group on Zoom, and these groups often were combined. Our computer facilities were better than Cameron’s so we decided that he and Terri might as well live with us and save shifting back and forward.

The groups kept growing and began to take up the afternoon and early evening. My father had finally retired and so I didn’t have argue about the next step. I told Cameron that if he was agreeable, he would stay on the payroll but spend his time coaching, which we would gradually shift to being a business for which parents paid. We would keep the fees minute, and nil for any families that couldn’t afford them because I was footing the bill through the company. I didn’t have my father around moaning complaints that Cameron wasn’t a tax deductable charity.

I went back to work full time. It took a lot of effort to get work flowing well, but I reached a stage where I felt confident of the future.

Children grew. Craig discovered he had a treble voice and sang, even picking up a few dollars doing solos at weddings and events. He even did a few specials with Terri translating in Auslan. Fees, he told people , were arranged through his agent. That was me. A breaking voice led Craigg to the piano, and he enjoyed that. Stella worked her way through school and reached Year Twelve with her eyes set on a Science Degree. Elli wandered in ambition and achievement, and then set her heart on climate change and the care of animals. At the moment she is focussing on a Veterinary Science degree.

Audrey discovered a professional weaver who could produce her designs her way and with a seamstress she located, she made and marketed her own dress designs. They sell well.

Cameron, meanwhile, had bonded successfully with Terri and she was progressing well. He had done an enormous amount of research about ADHD, and the internet helped. I shouldn’t have been amazed at the amount of knowledge he had access to, because we research building method and design. Marion hung on to life in a nursing home but was steadily declining. Eventually, she quietly died.

And then, another leap forward.

Audey and I were in a pleasant restaurant with Stella after she finished her exams. It was a low-key celebration because she insisted, she wasn’t going wild until she had her results.

We were well into the meal when I noticed Stella open-mouthed, reddening, her eyes wide. I and Audrey looked where she looked. A young couple had come into the restaurant earlier, and having inspected us all, taken seats at a table beyond a screen, out of our direct sight. They were, however, clearly visible in a huge wall mirror. They were signing in the most explicit sexual conversation.

Stella burst out with a slightly hysterical loud laugh, and I’m afraid Audrey and I joined in. I have never seen a young couple so embarrassed. They stood up and were poised to run from the restaurant. I called out, “Stop, it’s OK, we don’t mind.” Audrey, more sensibly, signed to them. I rose and stopped them. “Come and sit down, we’re all adults. You weren’t to know we could sign.” And said it again in Auslan. I just about dragged them to our table, meanwhile wondering where Stella knew some of the sexual signing, though I suppose it is rather obvious.

It turned out that the young man, whose name was Brian, could hear well. The girl (yes, it’s a sign of my age, I mean young lady) whose name was Teresa, was deaf.

Brian said, “I looked around when we came in and didn’t think I could see anyone likely to sign. Bit of a mistake. Teresa and I can’t get together easily, and, well, I guess we got as bit carried away.”

Audrey told them, “We have a small child in the house who is deaf, so we all learn Auslan.” I noticed a wide-eyed waiter staring at a table full of people signing and waved her over. I asked her to bring the couple’s meals to our table.

Then I asked Brian, “So, what do you do?” He told me he had graduated at the end of last year as a Chemical Engineer, but work was tight because of the recent lockdown, and he had only achieved one job trial and been asked to leave that because they didn’t like his idea.

Of course, I asked him, “What was the idea?”

“You know how dentists use light to instantly set a filling, and they have a system to rapidly dry concrete in the factory for pre-cast floors and walls, so I devised a way to rapid-dry liquid concrete on site for the tricky spots, because they happen. It would cost a bit initially, I think, but it would work. I haven’t had a chance to do it yet.”

He looked sane. “I’m a builder. Say you come and talk to my engineers. They will treat you seriously, and if there is a chance it can be developed, we’ll help you, employ you, at least. Interested?”

He was. I set up a meeting. Then I turned to Teresa, “And what about you?” I signed.

Brian replied for her. “She is finishing a Dip. Ed., for the deaf, but jobs next year are looking scarce.”

Audrey signed to her, “We have a friend who helps deaf children. I’d like you to meet him.”

Time moves quickly when you are busy. There came a summer evening when I was sitting contentedly on the back veranda, Ardbeg Reserve whisky in hand. Audrey is in the kitchen behind me, chatting with Stella. Audrey has taken the plunge and begun marketing her own gowns. Orders are coming in steadily. She has blossomed and we form a powerful partnership.

Elli is on the other end of the veranda, buried in a phone conversation with some fellow animal lover. Now at University she dresses wild. I was going to say that she had gone native, but apparently you can’t say that anymore, so I describe her attire as bushranger. Craig and Terri are upstairs. He is playing the piano. She is singing. They won’t feature on Australia’s Got Talent, but it's been amazingly good for Terri’s confidence. Cameron is out somewhere with Teresa, meeting with people about the coaching service they run. This is a complex business, which I subsidise. Part of it specialises in deaf children with ADHD, and we have had some serious talks about founding a school.

And then there is Brian. His idea about rapidly drying and stabilising concrete on site didn’t’ work out, but it led to another technique that we use to fuse and solidify material, and we can now use the same process with walls and other parts of the structure, which has accelerated our building speed and increased structure strength. But this was only the start. Brian is full of ideas about structural design, workflow, and beautiful order in the building process. I suppose only one in ten of his ideas come to fruition, but he’s worth his weight in gold.

I was very pleased with myself and had said so to the family at dinner.

Audrey and Stell emerged from the kitchen and stood in front of me.

Audrey said, “They have detected a new form of ADHD.”

I was interested, “What’s that?”

They did this mother and daughter thing, and both pointed their finger at me and laughingly shouted,

“SMUG ADHD!”

© David Townsend 2022